I Think My Boyfriend's a Calvinst

This song by a young lady named Jacki McLeod is, in my opinion, absolutely fantastic.

He won't buy me roses

None of those daffodils

He just buys me TULIPS

To explain the way he feels

He said, "I treasure the Pslams, 
On my heart they are engraved.

But there's room for your name too, 
In a special spot I've saved."

"Can I ask you on a date...
Even though you're totally depraved?"

I think my boyfriend's a Calvinist;

He's always reading an NKJV

I think my boyfriend's a Calvinist;

Quoting Romans 8:28-30.

I think my boyfriend's a Calvinist;

But ultimately, 
It doesn't matter -

I didn't choose him, he chose me.

He said, "All I'm looking for is a godly woman,

I don't care if she's not pretty."

And considering your complexion,

It's a good thing I believe 
In unconditional election."

He said, "perseverance of the Saints is well illustrated 
By the way I put up with you constant complaining."

I said, "You're an epistemological, presuppositional, and post-millennial Covenantal Calvinist, also a theonomist, superlapsarian, and Reformed Presbyterian, but never an Arminian..." 
Don't say I am complicated!

He said, "Babe I'm sorry, 
I'll tell you something true."

"You're so unblemished, 
I could sacrifice you."

I think my boyfriend's a Calvinist;

He's got a tattoo that says "I heart RC Sproul"

I think my boyfriend's a Calvinist;

He made me burn my NIV Bible

I think my boyfriend's a Calvinist;

But ultimately, 
It doesn't matter -

I didn't choose him, he chose me. 

He said, "I wish I was the Holy Spirit 

So I could be inside your heart."

He said, "God told us to multiply, 
So baby, let's start!"

One day he said, "I love you Grace". 

I said, "My name is Jacki, you fool."

He said, "Are you sure your name isn't Grace?
Because you're irresistible."  

And that's what I knew, that...

My boyfriend's a Calvinist;

Il parles français comme Jean Calvin.

I know my boyfriend's a Calvinist;

Born in August like St Augustine.

I know my boyfriend's a Calvinist;

But ultimately, 
It doesn't matter -

I didn't choose him, he chose me. 

(HT: Jason Helpoulos)