Pitching's Ten Commandments

My friend Craig Dunham is an author, Christian Ethics teacher, fellow alum of both Covenant Theological Seminary and the University of Missouri, and now the coach for the Jr. Varsity baseball team at Westminster Christian Acadamy in St. Louis (which produced the Detroit Tigers' first round draft pick last year, Jacob Turner). Today he handed out to his pitchers what he called an "original (and highly contextualized) paraphrase of Exodus 20:1-20" (containing the Ten Commandments).

Some examples Pitching's Ten Commandments:

2. You shall not make for yourself a mess by falling behind counts or walking batters. You shall not drag or work at a slow pace; for I, the Coach your Teacher, am a just Coach, punishing the pitchers for the sin of not throwing strikes no later than the third or fourth inning, but showing mound time up to a full seven innings to those who love pitching and care about the strike zone.

AND

4. Remember your fielders by throwing strikes. Three balls you are allowed to do all your work, but three strikes is a Sabbath for the Coach your Teacher. With them, you shall not wear out your team, neither you, nor your infielders or outfielders, nor your parents or fans, nor your girlfriends or wannabe girlfriends, nor the scout within your gates. For with three strikes in mind the Coach made the decision and the line-up, the fielding positions, and all who are in them, but he rested on the fact that you are going to make good pitches. Therefore the Coach trusts you to throw strikes so the team can make outs.

AND

10. You shall not covet your teammate’s velocity. You shall not covet your teammate’s curveball, or his changeup or slider, his two-seam or four-seam, or any pitch that your teammate throws.’

Read the whole list here.