A few weeks ago I posted regarding a close friend of mine who had been blessed by God with the birth of twins after a long period of waiting and hoping for children. He shared these thoughts via email with a number of friends the other day:
Greetings and salutations from the land of "Little or No Sleep!" What an amazing 17 days it's been!
As I pulled the mini-van around the circle drive to pick-up Deb, Camille, and Ryan on Saturday Aug. 15th, my heart was racing. Could we REALLY be headed home? A few days ago it was like the song: "Just the Two of Us." Now we were four.
FOUR!...............or FORE......as in LOOK OUT this dad has no idea what he's doing. Seriously! He has NO I-D-E-A! ZERO!
I helped Deb in and then, some how...some way....with both hands shaking, I lifted Camille and then Ryan into their respective car seat bases.......to my astonishment, neither landed upside-down on the pavement........I was sure the hospital staff was staring at me to see if I had any clue............(see above sentence)
And now with the car doors shut and the seat-belts fastened, we both looked at each other and simultaneously said, "Can you believe they're letting US take THESE babies home? Why in the world do the people at St. John's think we are qualified to do this? And here we thought these people were so competent and professional. IDIOTS! "
Almost every day since, Deb and I still catch each others attention and silently communicate, "Can you believe they are really ours?"
We're not sure why God answered our prayer in this way.........why us? Why now? We're almost 38. We know so many people who have gone through/continue to go through similar experiences with a completely different outcome......many who still wrestle with unanswerable questions that all begin with "Why?" .......
I, personally, went through phases of good and bad, but after 3 years of asking off and on, I lost track in 2005 of how many times I asked God, "Why?" or "When?" or "Why them and not us?". Even standing in the pool of Deb's optimism and faith I internally doubted.
I envied.
In my weakest moments, I even resented.
How grace-filled and merciful is the Lord that His faithfulness and love for me will never be offered proportionally to my faith and trust in Him?
The apostle Paul's witness had nothing to do with his own circumstances or how "well" things were going for him according to his slef-scripted life-plan.
I thank God that Paul's desire to ascribe to the Lord and worship at the feet of the Father wasn't contingenet upon how he felt. It was only in response to the attributes of the Father....... God's worth, His majesty, His sovereignty, His power, His grace, His love, His mercy.........merely meditating on who God was brought Paul to his knees in worship.
Paul's response had EVERYTHING to do with the Father and his abiding in God's presence.....spending time with the Creator of the universe:
"..........I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situations wheteher well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." PHIL 4:12-13
These words from Paul are the very words I share with you today. Sometimes I have indwelled them. I have truly lived and breathed them. I have trusted deeply. I have rested in His will.
And other times, I've fallen miserably short.
Camille Faith Hendrickson.
Her middle name has only a little to do with my faith walk,. It has everything to do with Debbie's. Seemingly at every stop-sign and detour over the years, God kept speaking the word "faith" to her. He was probably speaking to me as well and I even likely heard Him from time to time. I just didn't listen very often.
But Debbie continued to persist. Her faith grew. Her confidence in Him elevated. She boasted in our God.. She lived out these words.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." PHIL 4:6-7
She prayed. Every night. Every week. Every month. Every year.
These same words, "God, help us to start a family. Help us to have healthy children."
I kid you not. Every night. Thousands of times. For years. The same words. And I'm only counting the times I audibly heard her.
Peace enveloped Debbie. God hemmed her in from every side. Though I was reluctant, He began doing the same for me.
The "result" no longer mattered to Deb. The "result" no longer mattered to me. He was doing a different kind of work. He continued to draw us nearer to Him.......and to each other.
I thought we had a good relationship and marriage. But, God had BETTER in mind. In fact, He had a LOT BETTER in mind. It was by His Hand.......by His Design. If we had gotten pregnant 9 years ago, I'm not sure we would have ever experienced or learned the things He knew we needed know.
Our relationship changed. Our marriage changed. Though I was (and am) far from perfect, God began to teach me new ways to honor my wife that I had never known. He taught me more about what it means to uphold her and lift her up as my best friend.
Guys.........listen up. You need to hear this. I used to think it was cool to casually act like my marriage wasn't a huge deal, but simply an "addendum" to my own personal identity. Afterall, I didn't want anybody thinking I was "trained" or "whipped." Seriously.....what in the world was I thinking? All you tough guys, get over yourselves. None of this matters. Quit trying to be macho (especially if you're 5'9" like me.) Lift up your wives. Uphold them in love and protect them from harm. Honor them. Not just in private, but in public that others may see the awesome blessing you have received from God. Pray together.....aloud. Pray before your meals and before you go to bed. No matter how tired you are. Take turns praying. YEP ! If you've never done it before, you are correct......it WILL be awkward the 1st time....... AWKWARD......... extremely. And probably the 2nd and 3rd times as well. And then something that "transcends human understanding" will began to take shape as God moves from being a 3rd wheel to the glue that holds all things together....that holds you both together.
Girls.......listen up, too. Affirm your husbands. You don't need to unnecessarily feed our egos (we'll try and do that on the softball diamond or golf course). Simply love us......with all of our faults and quirkiness (and sometimes gasiness), love us just as we are. And extend grace when we mess-up. It's what we guys do. We mess-up. We forget. We need 2nd chances. Lots of them. Lavish your husbands with 2nd chances.
"He who began a good work in you will carry onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus" PHIL 1:6
None of us are beyond repair. In fact, it's exactly what God specializes in. Grace. Mercy. Unconditional forgiveness. Restoration. Renewal.
"He who was seated on the throne said, 'I am making everything new!'" REVELATION 21:5
So......what is it that you want to ask God to "make new" in your life? It's not too late. His love endures forever. His faithfulness has no bounds. His grace no limits. He keeps no record of wrongs.
"God loves you. But maybe even more importantly, God likes you." --Jeff Hart (friend and drummer in our worship band)
Thank you for your continued prayers for Debbie as she continues in her recovery from our c-section surgery!
Because of His Grace,
Eric, Debbie, Ryan, and Camille
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